my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
A bitchslap is in order.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
