I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
