Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
