If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
