Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
