I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
