I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
