I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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