People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
