If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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