remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
