Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
