Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
