sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
