just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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