8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
