so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
