I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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