guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
my liver is dry heaving
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
