I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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