Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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