Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
