People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
