you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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