Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My first STD was from a foam party
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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