My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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