I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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