We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
