I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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