what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
