i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
