Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So vagazzling was a success
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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