So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
