So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
