I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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