i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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