This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
