i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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