I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
