When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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