Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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