apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
