remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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