I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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