I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
