could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
