they need to just BURY HIM!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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