forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He uses pillows to masturbate.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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