i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
