As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
